Recently President Obama endorsed gay marriage. While some sodomites are jumping with joy, there’s also some bad news. Watch this video from the Family Research Council to learn what the gays have in store for you and your rectum!

My name is Joe Six pack. I am a regular gun-owning, Obama-hating, health care-rejecting, climate-change denying, real American.

I believe in the values that made this country great, like working hard for little pay. So you can imagine how excited I was when Wal-Mart came to town, undercut local businesses with dirt cheap prices, put everyone out of work, onto welfare, then hired us to work for minimum wage!

Now, I make a good living as a door greeter. Does this sound too good to be true? I can assure you, this dream I’m living is true! Below is a page of the Wal-Mart handbook to prove to all the American-hating-liberals how great Wal-Mart truly is!

Welcome to Wal-Mart, we’re glad that you chose to become an employee of the most successful and richest corporation in the world; it’s a lot better than joining the U.S. Army. As a Wal-Mart employee, you are entitled to the following benefits, perks and goodies:

1. No Unions.

You don’t have to join a union and pay those pesky union dues! Negotiate your own salary by yourself and we’ll tell you what your wage will be.

2. No Overtime Pay.

Overtime is just confusing as heck! One and half times your regular pay per every hour you work over 40 hours a week, etc…. Huh? How the heck are you gonna figure that out? You’d have to be an algebra genius to do that! We’ll save you the headache and let you work off the clock without pay.

3. Work During Lunch Breaks.

Pesky labor laws require you to take an hour to eat one sandwich! Can you believe that? Go ahead and work during lunch, we won’t tell anyone, ’nuff said!

4. No Health Insurance.

Health insurance is for people who get sick. Walmart wants you to be well, so we do not provide health insurance, see how that works? No need to thank us!

5. Dead Peasant Insurance

We take insurance policies out on our low paid workers, this way, when they die, we get a six figure settlement. With that money, we build more stores and hire more people, keeping unemployment low!

Innocent American children are being recruited into the Negro lifestyle faster than Jesse Jackson can make up a new word.  Families should stand up at attention if they hear their child using ‘new words.’

If your child starts to  say ‘yo-yo-yo’ and bob up and down and ask you questions like ‘sup?’ or ‘wut up,’ your home has been invaded.

Pastor Al B. Damned recently preached: “Modern colored folks have developed a language all their own. To the educated person it sounds like a combination of grunts and screeches, but they seem to be able to understand each other.

Pastor Al B. Damned was shocked earlier this week when his own son  informed him: “My friends call me Big D, pimp daddy.”

The pastor was in tears during a Sunday service when he openly admitted to the entire congregation that “rap” or as intellectuals call it, “gibberish,” found its way into his own home.

Buttfuck, Kentucky authorities will conduct a house by house search of rap CD’s, videos and posters, which will be burned in the name of “protecting our freedom.”

In one of the most disturbing youth sports incidents in recent years, negro coaches of a Sarasota, Florida negro youth football team instigated a brawl with a kindly white referee which eventually led to both the negro coaching staff and a player violently attacking this wonderful church-going patriotic white referee.

Fox News’ Sean Hannity – a real American – reports that the godless Lady Ga-Ga has declared war on Easter with her new song about Judas. The freedom-loving Tea Party is calling on the U.S. government to censor Lady Ga-Ga’s songs!

Our dear friend Martha Kleder at Concerned Women for America says that the recent Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue caused a man to masturbate in the toy department of a local Wal-Mart. Kelder says the swimsuit issue is “pornography” and compares it to “meth.”

The arrest of a North Port, Florida, teacher has made headlines around the nation. William Tyler Black, 28, has been charged with one count of indecent exposure and one count of battery. According to police, while at the North Port Wal-Mart, Black picked up a copy of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition, took it to the toy aisle, and proceeded to commit a lewd act.

I see the solution as analogous to our war on methamphetamine.

It was a day that will live in infamy. March 11, 2011. The empire of Japan, seeking retribution for the two nuclear bombs dropped on them by “real Americans,” launched numerous high tech Tsunami waves towards the west coast of the United States, damaging several millionaires’ boats (see video below). We tea partiers call on President Obama to nuke the Japanese in retaliation and imprison all Japanese in America (and the Chinese, because who can tell the difference?). Real American Joe Six Pack said, “This is just like Pearl Harbor, we need to bomb them Japs like we did before and fast!”

A preaching parrot defied liberals and the ACLU as he preached on GodTube.com. If only more “real Americans” had the guts this parrot has, we could turn this country around!

“Real” American and Fox TV host Glenn Beck promoted his new book The 7: Seven Wonders That Will Change Your Life on ABC-TV (see video below). Beck’s new book is about how to treat people with kindness, unless they are Democrats.

We agree with Pastor Dudley Rutherford who says that God using Glenn Beck to bring our nation back to God. Amen!

Glenn Beck’s New Self-Help Book

Glenn Beck Says “Shoot Democrats in the Head”